Queer Confessions: Scott Baio Edition


I have a confession to make: Scott Baio was my beard. I honestly can’t think of a more embarrassing confession at this point.

Let me give you some context: I was six years old, and sitting on my next door neighbour’s front walkway with a few other neighbour kids. The conversation turned to boys, which confused me, as it had never occurred to me to see boys as crushable yet. That’s not to say that I didn’t understand the concept of crushes, but all of my little girl attractions were focused on Charlie’s Angels (yep, all of them) at that point.

I listened to my friends talking about celebrity teenaged boys – how cute they were, their favourite TV episodes, yadda yadda yadda. Then they asked me who I thought was cute. My brain yelled, “Quick, quick! Pick ANYONE, as long as he’s male!” The first name out of my mouth, that I whispered very quietly, was our friend, Chachi. The reason I’d whispered it was that my neighbour’s older brother was within hearing distance and I didn’t want him to hear my fake confession, but as these things go, he was close enough to hear anyway, and teased me for months about my crush on young Mr. Baio.

So why now, 30 years later, am I so embarrassed about this spur of the moment choice of beards? Well, it appears that Charles isn’t as in charge as he’d like to be. In fact, it appears as though he’s lost his anti-choice, bigoted mind.

If for no other reason to encourage people to be honest about their attractions to people as early as possible, think about the children. Would you want your child to grow up with a guy like that as her first fake TV boyfriend?

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1 Comment

  1. Carolyn said,

    July 15, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    Interesting…I used to have dreams about all of Charlie’s Angels when I was really little. 🙂


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