I have not been having an easy time of things lately. While I’ve had good days and bad days with my health for years, this last long while really has felt more bad than good.
Yesterday was a very bad day. I don’t know if it was the never-ending pain and fatigue, the sleeplessness, the prednisone, or a combination of all of those factors, but I was not at my best. I posted to both Twitter and Facebook that I needed recommendations for housecleaning and meal preparation, as my house just makes me sad, and I haven’t had any energy to prepare food. And then I cried. For an hour.
If I hadn’t moved away from Ottawa, it wouldn’t even have occurred to me to have turn to strangers to help me. My mom was in town, and I had a close network of friends who thought nothing of just showing up at my house with a meal, a couple of hours to do some laundry, or an offer to take my kids for the day. To be fair, I’ve only been here a year. It took a lifetime to build up the support structure I had in Ottawa, and I knew that moving away from it would bring with it the risk that I’d run into trouble.
Lest anyone think I don’t have friends here who have not become a support for me, that’s not true. I have a few friends here who have dropped everything on a moment’s notice to help me when I’ve needed it – emergency childcare, cheering me up when life went to shit… In all my pain and fatigue and drugs making me nutty, I’d forgotten.
So back to yesterday. Weeping, totally feeling sorry for myself, and whining all over Twitter. And what happened? People started offering me help. Not just recommendations of people I could pay to make us food and clean our messes, but actual offers of assistance. Frozen meals, grocery pick-up, people offering to just listen to me vent. My boyfriend even copped to having already shovelled out my walkway a few nights ago, to try to make things a little easier on me. My Ottawa family gave as much support as they could as well, which made me feel just a little less far away from home.
So. I still feel like crap, I have no idea how long I’m going to feel this way, and I’m really freaking tired of feeling so terrible. But I know for sure that when I really need help, all I need to do is shine the bat signal into the ether.
PS: My village, being electronic, is boundless. I’m looking at you, San Francisco. Always there for me.